Anglophone Torontonian to run for Bloc Quebecois: Plans to Emigrate to Quebec to Escape Tea Party North
Toronto man, Tim McGrenere, has decided to run as a candidate for the Bloc Quebecois in the upcoming Canadian federal election. He is believed to be the first non-francophone candidate for the Quebec separatist party, and certainly the first Bloc candidate to run outside of Quebec.
“First of all, I have a man-crush on Gilles Duceppe,” said Mr. McGrenere. “I mean look at him compared to the other leaders. Full head of hair, nice suits, looks at people when he’s talking to them, says something funny occasionally, and is, you know, somewhat animated, almost like a real person. Compared to Duceppe, Ignatieff looks dry and professorial, Layton is strident and over-enthusiastic, and Harper has the flat affect of a lupine psychopath.”
“Secondly, I think Quebec should separate from Canada. I want to emigrate there. It’s sexy. It’s social. Quebecers respect themselves as something more than just “taxpayers”. They have way better daycare and a way better hockey team. Plus I want to take up smoking again. An independent Quebec will be the last bastion of bon vivant democratic socialism in North America and I want to be there when the last holdouts of liberal Toronto fall to the Fordnation, Harpergovernmentland, Tea Party North zombie horde. Go Canadiens! Allez les Habitants!”