“Freedom”, A Koch-ish Creed on behalf of Americans for (Limiting) Prosperity (to a Select Few)
I believe in freedom.
I believe in the freedom to pay workers whatever I can get away with, without having that freedom limited by their desire to “negotiate” a share of the profit I produced from their insignificant contributions.
I believe in the freedom of workers not to join a union that would impede their freedom to not negotiate a better wage for themselves and thus impede their freedom to live a truly Christian life in which their freedom to not be overly encumbered by material possessions (such as a big screen TV, or a home, or adequate healthy food), possessions which would impede their freedom to connect with their creator on a spiritual level.
I believe in the freedom to dump toxic waste wherever I feel like and not have to clean up after myself like some four-year old brat dictated to by an abusive Nanny 911 EPA agent.
I believe in the freedom of other people to live under poisonous environmental conditions and thereby have the freedom to test the limits of their physical, mental, and emotional selves. For what does not kill them, will make them stronger (and if it does somehow weaken or kill them, they will have experienced the glorious freedom of disproving the preceding statement).
I believe in the freedom to believe in, or create and promote, any science-like or science-ish evidence that I am able to pay for and not to have my individual intellectual freedom limited by the so-called “consensus of a scientific community” – a construction of groupthink mediocrity that is unencumbered by my financial interests and therefore does not perceive reality in the most profitable way.
I believe in the freedom of people to not engage class action lawyers to defend themselves against my interests and thereby limit my freedom to not hire more expensive lawyers, who I then have to spend much of my free time talking to. Everyone should have the freedom not to deal with lawyers. We are all in this together. The rule of law is an expensive luxury in hard economic times such as these.
I believe in the freedom of health insurance companies to make massive profits and not have that freedom impinged on by the outrageous expenses of a chronically malingering population who all have a pre-existing condition for decreasing shareholder value.
I believe in the freedom of Wall Street to create synthetic products of such unimaginable complexity that the few regulators remaining have the freedom to give up trying to figure them out and just play Angry Birds or fall asleep at their desks.
I believe in the freedom of banks to foreclose on mortgages without the bureaucratic necessity of having an actual authentic mortgage note. This inefficient requirement for non-fraudulent documentation contradicts the principle of a “creative” economy and the ideal of a paperless society. (The very same hypocrites who want to “save” our forests are no doubt demanding a paper copy of their mortgage.)
I believe in freedom.
The freedom for me to talk and the freedom for you to listen.
The freedom for me to do what I can and the freedom for you to do what you must.
The freedom for me to wield the stick and the freedom for you to be struck by it .
Please add to the Freedom Creed in the comments…I’ll update it accordingly.