Pro-Life Death Squad Leaders Frustrated Over States Waffling on “Justifiable Homicide” Bills
A spokesman for a midwest hitman start-up company called FetalVigilante expressed impatience with the State legislatures in South Dakota and Nebraska over the delays in passing bills that would classify the murder of abortion providers as “justifiable homicide”.
“We are encouraged by the recent progress made in the States of South Dakota and Nebraska in deregulating the murder of abortionists,” said Baby Face Roeder, “but a business like ours requires certainty. We would like to move in, start paying rent and begin contributing to the local economy. We have many applicants and we would love to provide them all with contracts, but obviously there is less incentive for them to work if they are at risk of going to jail. This is yet another example of government regulation impeding the dynamic and creative force of private enterprise.”
Mr. Roeder expressed confidence that the bill would eventually clear the recent hurdles, which he claimed are based in a dying ideology that no longer upholds the sanctity of life.
“There is no act that shows a greater commitment to the sanctity of life than murder,” said Mr. Roeder, “murdering an abortionist, I mean…or those who support abortionists…or those who have abortions…or those who have miscarriages in Georgia…you see there is a great deal of growth potential in this business if only big government will get out of our way.”